Open Label Testing

At last, the double-blind phase of the drug trial is complete, and I have moved on to the open label phase of the Pagoclone stuttering study. That means I'm definitely getting the real thing - not placebo - and I can finally get a clearer picture of what this drug can (and can't) do to help me control my speech.

Just a few days into it, but I'll be reporting back here soon.

It's been a while

It's been a while, but I'm still at it. The Pagoclone study continues - with negligible effect for me. Maybe it's placebo, maybe it's a reduced dosage, or maybe it's just not working for me. A little disheartening, I must admit. But we'll keep going and see what happens. Another visit to friendly folks at the research company in a few weeks. Will let you know how it goes.

Under Pressure

It's been more than a month since my last visit to the medical research company - I finished the first bottle of pills last week. I'm on the second bottle now, one pill in the morning, in at night.

The ever-present tension in my throat is somewhat reduced, and I can only attribute that to the medication. This reduced tension results in generally improved fluency highlighted by fewer, shorter and less intense blocks in my speech.

I've noticed this at work, on the phone with family and friends and in a few other social situations. BUT...... when I am tired or rushed or feeling stressed, this sense of reduced vocal tension disappears and my speech is as disfluent as ever.

Maintaining composure when speaking is the key to speaking more fluently, at least for me. When I cave in to the pressure I'm inevitably feeling (in varying degrees, according the situation and my relative state of being at the moment), my speech suffers.

Achieving and maintaining a measure of composure when speaking is something I need to focus on in order to speak more fluently.

Pagoclone can help me with this. It's not going to "cure" my speech problem. But it can be a useful tool as I work to improve my speech.

And for the record, I've kept up with my doses on schedule and have experienced no side effects.

Next appointment August 18.

Could You Be The One?

Another visit to the medical research company, another questionnaire, another video recording.... and two more bottles of pills.

As I cracked open Bottle 1 (which is really Bottle 4 in total, but Bottle 1 of this, the second 8-week stage of the the first testing phase), the old Husker Du song popped into my mind - could you be the one?

For the next eight weeks, I'll be taking these pills, which may or may not Pagoclone. And my speech may or may not improve. In the video reading yesterday, I was 90% fluent, an exceptionally high fluency rate. But back in the office, in my everyday environment, I pick up the phone and ....... Well, it makes no sense at all.

Nothing new to report on the new batch of pills. I still feel some tension in my throat, and my stuttering is only moderately improved, if at all. No side effects at all. I'll post in a week, hopefully with the news that the tension in my throat has diminished - that would be an encouraging development. Will advise.

A week from tomorrow...

I am scheduled to go back to the medical research center a week from tomorrow. I've been in full compliance with the medical directions, not missing a dose since the first day of the trial. I am still on bottle three, which, as I've mentioned before is either placebo or an ineffectively low dose of Pagoclone.

From my experience with bottle one, I know Pagoclone can help me speak more fluently. Not by itself - the pill is not a cure by any means. But in conjunction with speech therapy (for me, that's mostly stuttering prevention techniques along with some fluency shaping techniques), I know that Pagoclone can be a useful tool for helping me control my speech and speak more fluently.

Update

Ok, I've gotten an update from the medical research company. I had hoped after finishing the first three bottles of pills, I'd be moving on to the open label phase, in which I would definitely be getting Pagoclone.

It turns out that the current phase of the trial will continue for another 24 weeks - for a total of 32 weeks. It is only after this that I'll be able to move on the the 48 week open label phase.

Just wanted to clear that up for any of you who are also participating in the trial: It's a double-blind test for 32 weeks, then open label for 48 weeks.

My take on Bottle 3

I feel like it is possible that Bottle 3 may be Pagoclone, but, if it is, the dosage is much too weak for me. I felt a little less tension in my throat after taking pills from Bottle 3 for a few days - but the difference was very, very slight. Stressful day at work today, and I feel the old, familiar tightness in my throat even as I type this.

I'll discuss it with the medical research team on my next visit, but I feel certain that Pagoclone - at a certain dose - can help me speak more fluently by reducing the tension in my throat. And if I pair this medical treatment with stuttering prevention techniques (passive airflow) and fluency shaping techniques (gentle onset, light contact) and speak at a moderate pace - I think I can achieve a higher degree of fluency than I could by using any of these components on their own.

The medical treatment of stuttering will likely be most successful in tandem with speech therapy, imo, and I am eager to move forward and more fully explore this approach.